Forgiveness versus Revenge in Therapy of Victims.

“Every unpunished murder takes away something from the security of every man's life” ~Daniel Webster~

Maria Van Noort (2003) stated that “working through feelings of shame and guilt followed by mourning seems necessary in order to give up a need for revenge or come to acceptance and possible forgiveness”.  Victims of traumatic events usually experience a deep resentment toward the offender and will often contemplate revenge before any type of forgiveness is thought of.  Forgiveness can be the most difficult thing for a victim can do; they will usually allow the emotions of revenge to consume them, leaving the possibility of forgiveness at a very low percentage.  Group counselors should be aware that when there is a considerable store of non-assuaged frustration and emotional pain people tend to have conscious or unconscious fantasies of revenge (Van Noort, 2003).  To get a person to the stage of forgiveness a counselor must allow the person to work through these destructive emotions.  Group therapy is a good place for victims to safely speak about the traumas they have been through and learn how others have come to forgive.  The social implications of shame, the variety of guilt expressions and mourning together with others make group therapy an important medium in addressing the dynamics of revenge and forgiveness (Van Noort, 2003). 

Van Noort, M. (2003) Revenge and forgiveness in group psychotherapy, Group Analysis. 36, 4, 477-489